The pressure death

The new way of committing suicide I believe is to keep allowing life to add pressure when you know that you can’t handle anything else at the time. We have to prioritize our own state of wellbeing before we can continue to add issues and stress to our already overwhelmed bodies and minds.

Now I know things like to happen all at once but we have to respect the fact that relapse or worse is bound to happen if we don’t put some stuff down and deal only with what is absolutely essential. And sometimes that means going back into the hospital in order to just make it all stop and sort through the really important tasks until you have a clear view of things. We know the voices never really give good advice but sometimes it just seems like everything they are saying holds some merit in a weird sort of way.

So why is it so hard to ask for help? For me it was my daughter’s 10th birthday and her crying because she didn’t want mommy to go away. I didn’t go to the hospital. I should have gone nothing has really changed since last Wednesday night. I’m still under immense pressure between work home life, the kids and my husband there’s nothing I can just put to the side without backlash or major issues arising from doing so.

I don’t really know what I need to do now, but maybe I’ll figure it out before it actually kills me (mentally, emotionally, and otherwise). I am still entertaining the hospital avenue but I really hope something gives so that I don’t have to. I would like to think that if it’s truly the right place for me to survive then I’ll know and go without hesitation but if I fall into another delusions I might not be able to see the dire situation I’m in.

If you have a friend who’s always in the pressure cooker and seems a bit depressed or overwhelmed be sure to tell them that there is help for them all the time and you’d be happy to lend an ear if they need one.

Holding on to what I’ve got. Even if it kills me,

Schiz & Giggles

4 comments

  1. Laurie · April 30

    Yes, please hold on. Your daughter needs you and you are loved!

    Liked by 1 person

  2. Lauren Sparks · April 30

    Praying for you in this today. Visiting you from the purposeful faith link up. laurensparks.net

    Liked by 1 person

  3. Rebecca Hastings · April 30

    This opening: “The new way of committing suicide I believe is to keep allowing life to add pressure when you know that you can’t handle anything else at the time.” was so powerful.

    It puts such a different perspective on how we self-harm in the name of pride or good parenting or being a good spouse or good employee or just not knowing how to do anything different.

    You gave me a lot to think about today, friend! Visiting from Kelly’s linkup!

    Liked by 1 person

    • SchizoAffecto · April 30

      Thank you so much for the comment. It really means the world to me to be able to take my suffering and use it to give people a chance to see through a different lens and hopefully make a difference in how we deal with others who don’t live life the way most people do. Without understanding we are left out of the conversation a lot of the time and God wants us to Share his word with everyone therefore I will share so we can reach a larger crowd. Thanks for the uplift today you are truly a blessing from God for me today.

      Like

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